


8 AM

by Chrysanthos



Series: Dumb Three Houses Crack [6]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21655654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysanthos/pseuds/Chrysanthos
Summary: This was always the plan.
Series: Dumb Three Houses Crack [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1480247
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	8 AM

It was another day at Garreg Mach Ten Monastery Academy. Birds were singing, flowers were singing, Dorothea was singing, everything was singing.

Dimitri carried in a large box with one hand and placed it gently on the ground.

"Your Highness?" Ashe asked, "What. Is this?"

"It is my latest invention, Ashe." Dimitri proudly stated, as if he had just painted a landscape with 500 models.

"An invention?" Sylvain sauntered up. "What does it do?"

"Simple!" Dimitri replied, "Have you ever dropped a cheese wheel onto the ground, and had it shatter because it hit a flagstone?"

"Absolutely not." Felix said.

"I have," Ingrid nodded, "Keep talking."

"Well, worry not!" Dimitri smiled, "For I present to you: Coinstar for Cheese!"

There was a pause.

"Er, that was the cue to start clapping." Dimitri said.

Everyone because to weakly clap.

"What is Coinstar?" Dedue whispered to Ingrid.

"I have no idea." Ingrid whispered back.

"So, uh, how does it work?" Annette asked.

"Oh, it is quite simple!" Dimitri took out a wedge of cheese and snapped it in two as easily as if he were tearing a piece of paper. "Allow me to show you!" He placed the cheese halves into a small metal drawer, and then closed it.

Dimitri stood there, his weirdly proud grin plastered on his face.

"He's really into this Coinstar for Cheese thing, huh?" Sylvain whispered to Mercedes.

"I think it's cute that he's found something to be proud of!" Mercedes lightly admonished Sylvain.

Dimitri then opened a separate drawer, where there was one whole wedge of cheese. "Behold!" Dimitri smiled.

"Hold it!" Felix objected. "I want to 'examine' that 'machine'!" Felix stormed up and looked in both drawers - but there was no cheese to be seen in either of them.

"Wait, so it... Repairs cheese?" Ingrid asked, ignoring Felix. "That's it?"

"That's all it does!" Dimitri nodded.

"An excellent idea." Ingrid declared. Dedue nodded along with her. "That right there is why you're the boss."

Dimitri beamed, obviously proud of Coinstar for Cheese.

From the bushes, Claude put down his binoculars. "So, what have we learned?"

Leonie put down her telescope. "Nobles can be easily entertained?"

Cyril put down his opera glasses. "White people can be bought with cheese."

Raphael put down his jeweler's loupe. "That Dimitri should next invent Cheesestar for Coins?"

Hilda put down her magnifying glass. "That Faerghus is doomed to fall within a month?"

"Yes to all of that, I'm so proud of you all." Claude happily nodded and gave them lots of headpats. "Let's go get some IHOB."

**Author's Note:**

> Dimitri just invented Coinstar for Cheese


End file.
